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Featuring Demian Dressler, DVM and Sue Ettinger, DVM, Dip. ACVIM (Oncology), authors of The Dog Cancer Survival Guide

Is My Dog Dying? Here Are Some Warning Signs and Symptoms

Updated: November 22nd, 2021

Summary

How do you know if your dog is dying? Learn what signs to look for, and how to handle them.

If you’re reading this article, you’re probably worried that your dog is dying. You may even have literally searched for “warning signs dog dying.” As editor of The Dog Cancer Survival Guide, I wanted to write this, just for you. Here’s what I need you to know, right upfront, right now:

  1. There is no expiration date for your dog. There is no such thing as a crystal ball we can consult to know “today’s the day.” No one, not your veterinarian, not your spouse, and not you, can predict with 100% accuracy “when” your dog is going to pass from this earth.
  2. There are some warning signs that you can use to see the end as it nears.
  3. There are some wonderful, simple things you can do for your dog RIGHT NOW that will help, no matter when the end comes.
  4. This is a very, very hard time for you, and you should be very gentle and kind to yourself.

Before we launch in, let me tell you this: I am not a veterinarian. I am a writer, and the editor of the best-selling book on dog cancer, The Dog Cancer Survival Guide, but I have no medical credentials of my own. What I am including in this article is what I know from Dr. Demian Dressler and his co-author, oncologist Dr. Susan Ettinger … but mostly from my own experience as a dog lover, just like you, who has gone through the dark nights of agony at the end of a beloved dog’s life.

With that disclaimer, let’s move on.

There’s No Expiration Date

Readers of Dr. Dressler’s book on dog cancer often join our private Facebook support group to get support for their dog cancer journey. Far too often, a reader posts a photo of their gorgeous dog and asks “how do I know when it’s time to let go?”

And the advice from fellow guardians (what we call dog lovers facing canine cancer) is almost always summed up this way:

“You can’t know ahead of time … but when it is finally time, you will absolutely know. Your dog will tell you.”


If your dog has cancer, and you have read or are reading The Dog Cancer Survival Guide, please join our private Facebook Group for readers.


This idea that our dogs will “tell” us may sound a little obvious (or mystical, depending upon how seriously you take interspecies communication studies). But it’s not.

We often have to be reminded that our dogs actually have opinions, thoughts, feelings, and preferences. They are not human, but they are, in a very important sense, people. I’m not making this up! This is a relatively new way of thinking about animals, but it’s becoming clearer with every passing year: this planet is populated by over 7 billion human individuals, and thousands of billions more of individual animals.

Dogs are not just members of a species called Canis lupus familiaris… in fact, they are individuals who happen to be part of that species. Just like all of us humans are individuals who happen to be part of our species, Homo sapiens.

Dogs have a sense of themselves as individuals. They don’t look at another dog and think “hey, we’re interchangeable!”

Listen to Your Dog

Because dogs don’t speak “English” (although they understand a lot of it), and because we don’t speak “Canine,” we often forget that our dog IS a person. He has his own unique view on his world. She has her own set of experiences — experiences that you will never actually know about. Because you haven’t been her, and you haven’t lived his life!

My point is, it’s easy to forget in our distraction and panic over our dog’s warning signs that they are feeling ill, or maybe even dying, that they are actually having their own experience — that is separate from ours.

And when we forget that about other people (whether human or dog) … we forget that we need to LISTEN. Just as we would to someone in our life who does speak our language. If your grandfather told you “I think I’m near the end,” you would understand what he meant.

Well, dogs might be able to “tell” us something like that, too. And I believe that our dogs, like our grandfathers, want to keep their dignity.

So, when I say “your dog will tell you,” another way I could say this is “ask your dog.”

Your dog knows what is going on. And I bet you anything you can understand your dog.

Look, there just isn’t any way to know the exact timing of anyone’s death, human or canine. But there is great value in listening to someone, closely observing them, and providing comfort, whether they are near death, or not.

And our dogs certainly deserve that close, loving attention, at all times in their lives. Goodness knows, I wish I were even a fraction as good as my dogs. I would be a saint.

So, bottom line is this: set aside your need to “know” if now is the time for your dog. It’s just not possible to know for sure — until you do.

When it’s time, you will know, because your dog will somehow, someway, get through to you to tell you. In the meantime, the best thing you can do for yourself AND your dog is to listen, observe, and offer comfort and help as needed. How much time you have left is less important than how much closeness and love you give each other in whatever time you have left.

(I speak from hard, hard experience.)



Warning Signs a Dog Is Dying

OK, here are some things that you can look for to see if your dog is nearing the end of life. Keep in mind that none of these are definitive, and if your dog is only going through one or two of them, it may not mean she’s near the end. I have heard from too many readers over the years about turnarounds to think that any one of the following signs definitely means your dog is going for sure.

But if you see several of the following warning signs, all at the same time? Breathe deeply. We’ll cover some more things for you to do in the next section.

Lethargy That Just Won’t Quit

In general, dogs like to move, walk, play, bounce, cuddle, fetch, eat, drink, and relieve themselves. Any time your dog is listless or lethargic … not “acting like himself” you can be sure he’s not feeling well for some reason.

In particular, lying in one spot for long periods of time, especially one that is kind of quiet and isolated, or not a normal napping spot, is a sign that your pup is feeling like life is not something he wants to participate in wholeheartedly. Those of us who live in rural areas, where our dogs have lots of outside spaces to roam, are familiar with how, given a chance, some dogs prefer to isolate themselves, far from their families, when they sense their time is up. I had a friend whose elderly dog seemed fine right up until the night she didn’t come in when called after they let her out after dinner. They found her curled up under a bush in an area she almost never napped in — as if she didn’t want to ruin their happy memories of other trees, paths, and walks.

If you live in a city or suburb, and your dog doesn’t have an outside option, you might find he chooses a weird spot you’ve never seen him use for a nap. Another friend’s dog curled up in their laundry room for his last days. It only made sense when she realized how it was out of the way, out of traffic, and afforded him maximum privacy from his beloved small human family members in their busy house.

If a dog is near the end, they may not want to get up from their spot, even for their most favoritest, favoritest things, like toys, treats, and offers to go for a walk. They might not even seem happy to see family members. If your dog has been sort of puddling up in a pile of lethargic, disinterested misery, and it’s been more than a day, that can be an early warning sign that she is getting ready to leave this life.

Lack of Interest in Food and/or Water

It’s the rare dog that doesn’t want to eat. Sometimes, nausea from cancer treatments (or cancer itself) can be the culprit. Other health conditions, medications, and even foods can certainly cause temporary nausea, too. Here’s one of my favorite articles about how to help your dog to eat when she won’t.

But if you’ve gone through all of that, and even started offering other tidbits that might be no-no’s on a typical cancer diet, and he still won’t eat? Or if he does, but then vomits? That’s a warning sign.

If your dog stops drinking water, that’s another sign that she is possibly nearing the end. At the end of life, our organs start shutting down, and as a result, the brain just stops sending us hunger and thirst signals. There’s no point in taking in food and water that can’t be digested and then used by the body.

So, if you’ve tried and failed to get your dog to take an interest in food and water, and it’s been over a day or two, it might be because he’s near the end.

Movement Problems

Dogs that are near the end of their life often become very disoriented, so if your dog does get up and move around, she may stumble, wobble, or collapse. You may find him shaking, or even having what looks like a seizure, as his muscles tremble and discharge energy.

Losing Control of Bowels and/or Incontinence

A dog who is dying often loses control of their muscles (as above), including all the sphincter muscles that hold waste in the intestines, or urine in the bladder. Combine that loss of control with the inability to move with confidence and general lethargy, and you see incontinence. Often, you’ll find your dog has soiled himself without even attempting to get up — urinating and/or defecating right where he’s lying. You might also see sores from the waste irritating the skin.

Labored Breathing

At the very end of life, breathing often becomes ragged. Instead of a nice, even in-and-out, you might hear great breaths in, and then a long pause, and a little sigh out. There might be panting, or great pauses, or almost a rattling sound as your pup struggles to keep going.

Super Snuggliness

I have a theory that most dogs absolutely know that they are dying, and they want to make the most of their last moments. Before you point out that I just told you about dogs isolating themselves to die, let me tell you this: both of those dogs actually spent the hours BEFORE they isolated themselves to pass asking for kisses and pets and snuggles from their human family members.

As far as I can tell, dogs love unconditionally, even those of us humans who maybe don’t deserve it. And so it makes 100% sense to me, as a dog lover, that my dogs all got really snuggly at some point near the very end of their lives. They want to make absolutely sure that you know that you are loved before they are forced to leave you.

If your dog is spending lots of time gazing at you with adoration, snuggling into your lap, or doing his best to request a belly rub given his limited movements, you might see that as a warning sign.


Get the Dog Cancer Survival Guide to read more on End of Life and Hospice Care, in Chapter 25

What You Can Do for Your Dog If You Think She’s Dying

First, make sure that’s what is going on. Calling your veterinarian and telling him or her all about everything you’ve observed is your first priority. You will want to know if a recent change in medication or technique could have caused these symptoms — and if so, there might be something they can do for her to get her through this period so she can recover.

Before you call in, make a list of everything you’ve seen and heard, and your general impressions of your dog, so you don’t forget anything. The nurse or tech who answers the phone will be able to help you, or have the veterinarian call you back and discuss.

Getting medical advice at this stage is really important. If there is something that can be done, they’ll advise you about what it is, and what the chances of it helping are. And if not, they might still be helpful — sometimes an overnight stay at the hospital can help both with pain management and “hospice” care, if that’s necessary.

But then, there are definitely things you can do at home to help your dog. These all can help to alleviate pain and really up the quality of life he’s feeling right now. For more detail on each of these, please see the chapter of “End of Life Choices and Care” in The Dog Cancer Survival Guide.

Hydration

For dehydration, aim to get about one ounce of water per pound of body weight into your dog over a 24-hour period. For example, if your dog is 10 pounds, you want to give about 10 ounces of water.

If he won’t drink out of a bowl, you can try squirting a turkey baster filled with water into his mouth. You can also use other fluids, like low-sodium chicken or beef broth, soup, or even tea. But if he refuses to drink, or hates the baster method, there’s not a lot you can do to force the issue.

In this case, ask your veterinarian for “subcutaneous fluids” to give at home, along with detailed instructions about how to inject them under the skin.

Appetite

If your pup hasn’t eaten in over a day, and you’ve done everything you can think of in Susan’s article, throw out all the rules you’ve learned about what to feed a dog with cancer.

High-carb? Fine! Hot dog packed with nitrates and nitrites? Terrific! If your dog hasn’t eaten in a few days, ANYTHING she eats is lovely.

Offer anything that isn’t toxic (no onions, grapes, raisins, chocolate). Anything that tempts her to take a bite is PERFECT, and an important life quality “treatment.” Our dog Maui, when she was dying, loved angel food cake. (And we loved feeding it to her.)

Safety

If your dog is really wobbly, try to keep him in a quiet, comfortable place that is safe. Remove any furniture or objects that he might knock over, and pad hard surfaces anyway you can.

Cleanliness

Cleanliness is really important to your dog, as it is to us humans. So if she’s soiling herself, give her a gentle sponge bath with lukewarm (not cold, not really warm, certainly not hot) water as soon as you can. Keeping her clean and dry will help her to feel comfortable and keep her from developing bed sores.

Bed Sores

Lying in one spot can cause bed sores, little ulcers where skin is rubbed raw from the pressure of the body. This is particularly important for large breeds.

Keeping your pup on a thickly padded surface and rotating him gently from side to side is a good idea. While you do this, gently look for sores that are developing so you can care for them right away if you see them.

Also, keep in mind that you don’t want to “twist” your dog as you move him. If he hasn’t turned himself over in a six-hour period, gently gather all four of his paws to his belly, roll him to his front, and then on to his other side. (Don’t roll him onto his back — it’s dangerous, especially to large breed dogs, who are prone to get a “twisted stomach” this way.)

Pain Management

Pain management might be in order, particularly if you notice panting, a possible sign of pain. There are many pain meds your veterinarian might want to prescribe, based on your dog’s specific case, so don’t be afraid to ask.

This is also a time when something like CBD oil might be warranted, for comfort at the end of life. Discuss this with your veterinarian, if you’re interested, because laws vary by state, and not every veterinarian is comfortable prescribing or using something that is still illegal at the federal level. (And I refuse to get on my soapbox about this, but let’s just say I wish scientists had the opportunity to study this.)

Life Quality!

Focus on total, 100%, super-awesome life quality tailored to YOUR dog.

You know your dog best — what does she like? Is there a favorite toy you can get for her to snuggle with or gnaw on? Is there a special treat? Does she adore fresh air?

When our dog Maui was in her last days, I bought a pack ‘n play for her, filled it with her favorite dog bed, toys, and snugglies, and put it outside in a shady spot. We also carried her in our arms and gently walked up and down her favorite beach. I can’t prove it, but I know it’s true: being outside and feeling the sunshine and fresh air, and smelling her favorite beachy smells, made her happier.

So did getting groomed. The day before Maui died, our mobile groomer appeared at the door. It was an appointment we’d made a month earlier, and forgotten to cancel as we took care of Maui in her last days. We assumed Maui wouldn’t want to make the effort to get up and get groomed, but when she heard Allyson’s voice, her tail thumped and she raised her head, and she even walked to the top of the steps to greet her. When we listened carefully, and observed her obvious positive response to Allyson, we “knew” she wanted to get groomed. Allyson’s tender care for her in her last hours was a miracle. Maui always loved being groomed, and it truly ended up being one of the “life quality treatments” we applied at the end of her life.

Manage Your Grief

OK, this one is hard, but it’s really important. While you care for your dog at this last stage of his life, try hard not to break down in front of him. Dogs pick up on our emotions, and whatever you are feeling he is likely feeling, too. So try to stay in a warm, loving, attentive, close, intimate frame of mind. Leave the harsh, ugly crying for later, or go somewhere else to do it.

It’s a terrible burden, to watch a loved one die. It can be really hard, and for some, it’s totally devastating. But if you can keep breathing, and keep your heart open to how much love there is between you and your dog, you’ll be doing a deep and great service to your pup.

And somehow, I know he’ll be grateful to you.

Which brings me to the last thing I wanted to tell you.

Be Gentle, and Loving, with Yourself, Too.

Good grief, it’s hard to lose a dog. And maybe even harder is knowing you’re about to lose your dog — that it’s going to happen soon, but who knows when. That limbo feeling can complicate our decision making and terrorize our minds. We might not feel right about eating ourselves, or sleeping, or going to work, or even taking a shower.

So acknowledge to yourself that you’re going through a really tough time, and that YOU need care, too. One thing I’ve learned over the years is that no amount of money, time, or energy can insulate us from heartbreak. Whether you are in a situation where you can’t afford pain meds, or need to euthanize, or can’t afford to miss work to be with your dogs — or whether you have all the time and money you need — you’re going through a devastating loss.

So do what you need to do to care for yourself, too. Get support. Talk to friends and family members, or a pastor or counselor. I personally advise NOT talking to people who aren’t dog lovers — some folks simply do not understand the bond that can form between us and our dogs. The last thing you need to hear right now is “it’s just a dog.”

If you’re a reader of The Dog Cancer Survival Guide, I highly recommend the Facebook support group. (Email us using the contact us page to get details on how to join that private group.) Having fellow travelers take a moment or two to post messages of love and support can be very healing.  They can also be really helpful at “trouble-shooting” your end of life care for your dog.

In addition to reaching out for emotional support, I also recommend a few time-tested comfort measures. The following came highly recommended by my grandmothers and grandfathers, and my great-grandmothers and great-grandfathers (I am so lucky to have known so many!):

  • Get as much sleep as possible. Now is not the time to pull all-nighters if you don’t have to. Go to bed when you are tired, and if you can nap, do it.
  • Make sure YOU are eating and drinking. Your dog does not benefit from you being weak and hangry.
  • Take a shower. Everything seems more manageable when you are fresh and clean.
  • Take care with your dress and grooming. My grammy used to say “I wear lipstick because I feel better.” You don’t have to wear lipstick, but sometimes feeling “dressed” — whatever that means to you — helps you to face the world.
  • Breathe deeply. Constantly. When stressed, we often hold our breath, which just keeps our brains from working well. Better to add breath to any stressful situation than take it away.
  • Have tea. Any kind is comforting, but herbal teas, in particular, can be very therapeutic.
  • If you have a diffuser, diffusing essential oils can be really helpful to both you and your dog. Amber Drake really likes lavender oil, and so do I.
  • Eat soups. They are warm and comforting, and broth can be very nutritious, and quickly absorbed, so you get “instant” food.
  • Cry when you need to. Give yourself breaks to let out your grief, at least a little. It helps to rid the body of stress hormones.
  • Dark chocolate is a great way to reduce stress hormones and “treat” yourself. (My grandmothers all thought so — now science backs them up!)

I’m going to give the last word to one of the wise readers who contributed a “true tail” to The Dog Cancer Survival Guide. Here are some words of wisdom from someone who’s been where you are:

Let Outcomes Unfold

“Deal with it one day/ step at a time, and don’t jump ahead. Let outcomes unfold, rather than focusing on the worst case scenario. Don’t beat up on yourself.You did not cause your dog’s cancer. Don’t try to be brave. If you need to cry or do hours of research or watch action movies to feel better, go for it. If not, just love your dog. Don’t waste any energy on things you can’t do anything about. Use your energy to help your dog. Have courage when making the decisions you will have to for your dog’s well-being. Some will be hard, but if you keep the focus on giving your dog the best quality of life possible, they will be easier.”

– Susan McKay,Winnipeg, Manitoba

I don’t know you, but I feel your pain if you are reading this. I wish you the very best, and thank you, personally, for loving your dog so much that you ended up here, reading this article.

If you have anything to add, please share your story in a comment. Believe me, future readers want to hear from all of us who love and lost our dogs.

And if you have that awful, sinking feeling in your gut that it is time to consider euthanasia for your dog, here’s our “everything-euthanasia” article, which covers the nitty gritty of the appointment and aftermath. There are multiple resources for you in that article, including several amazing podcast episodes that will honestly, help you.

Many blessings,

Molly Jacobson

Editor, The Dog Cancer Survival Guide

Also See:

Improving Life Quality with Hospice for Dogs

Was There Anything Else I Could Have Done?

Dog Euthanasia: What Happens

Leave a Comment





  1. MIA Lipstick on May 22, 2020 at 5:30 pm

    Thanx so much Molly for your very compassionate advice. My little guy is only five years old and I think he may be dying right now. I have him a warm bath to clean him up after the crazy medical emergency week we both had. Plus with the civic issue, I say in a parking lot for hours waiting to know the diagnosis. His health has deteriorated over the last week. I am afraid to think that my companion is dying, but I feel that he is on deaths door.
    He had a grand mal seizure and recovered poorly. He was unable to void. The vet said he was fine, just a high liver level due to dehydration. He received fluids under his skin and leaked for days with incontinrnce. Then diareah, and loss of appetite! I brought him in again for ultrasound, and they said there was a renal blockage.
    Now he needs surgery, which I can’t afford. Reads can help by visiting his Go find me page: Save Dante Guimond ASAP!

  2. deborah s on May 9, 2020 at 4:31 am

    I lost my 13 year old Penny Lane yesterday. Her decline was sudden and unexpected. 3 weeks ago she was walking and running when I noticed a limp on right side. Took her to vet who said arthritis and gave her NSAIDs which didn’t help so I insisted on bloodwork and Lyme test. Blood results came back normal and Lyme test came out negative. Vet then gave Tramadol to use with NSAID and it helped her walk a little better for a few days but then she started limping on left side a week later so vet said I think maybe it is Lyme. Started her on antibiotics. Nothing seemed to help and I knew she was in pain, I started researching natural pain relief and ordered CBD oil because I was terrified the drugs I kept giving her were contributing to her decline after reading all negative side effects possible. She became more and more lethargic, couldn’t do stairs anymore, was showing signs of dementia and then had no interest in eating, wouldn’t even take her favorite treat, so made the decision to end her pain and suffering. This dog was pure joy, everyone called her ‘happy dog’ when out on her walks, she just exuded a love of life. My heart is breaking I miss her so much and can’t stop wondering why nothing seemed to help her. The CBD oil never arrived in time so I still wonder if that would have helped but will never know. Thank you for your article. It was helpful.

  3. Sarah b on May 2, 2020 at 7:34 pm

    This article really was a great read as I’m losing my dog right now to a thyroid carcinoma. I’ve had him since i was 18 years old, when I first moved out on my own. He’s only 7.5 and I’m heartbroken. He isn’t doing well, and I’m stuck in between a rock and a hard place because he still is his normal self when it comes to walks but within the last couple of days, he’s struggled eating and drinking.

    I know I’m approaching a decision and I am not ready.
    He’s the best dog I’ve ever known and more than a dog. I’m so sad.

  4. Bernard Prevuznak on May 2, 2020 at 2:22 am

    Molly…great article…my Golden Retriever is only 4 years old and has weeks to live due to leukemia…you words were wonderful and so is the book…thank you…God bless.

    Bernie

  5. Liz Mooney on April 29, 2020 at 4:54 pm

    Thano you so much. My fur baby Karma was diagnosed with Osteosarcoma it’s in her hips. We thought she hurt her leg. The xrays showed advance. We are in pain management now doing hospice. My husband and I moved downstairs she can’t walk with out whimpering. As you said we would do anything for more time but seems she is telling us th I let go. We are so sad I have showered in days I came across your article is everything we are going thru. She is our little girl wonderful 10 years she gave us. Thank you for the advice and encouragement. Pittie lover for life.

  6. Dorothy Krause on April 14, 2020 at 10:08 pm

    My sisters yorkie Beamer passed yesterday. He was 13 years old. My heart is aching for Beamer and for my sister. Beamer had a tumor on his liver but didn’t survive once it was removed. We’re devastated and in disbelief. The doctor said they did everything they could do to save him. He was at Banfield hospital on Easter but they didn’t have the right equipment to do an ultrasound but told her something was on his liver but wasn’t sure about it. She picked brought him home but took him to emergency the next day where the ultrasound was done. He spent the night and was scheduled for surgery the next day. The prepped him for surgery but after surgery he passed. They also told her they saw a mass at the opening of his stomach where the food enters. We’re devastated and now I think she regrets it. I think she did the right thing, after all she was trying to help her dog after seeing a change in his behavior. I think he was in a lot of pain.

    • Dog Cancer Vet Team on April 16, 2020 at 6:46 am

      Hello Dorothy,

      Thanks for writing and we are so sorry for your family’s loss and please send your sister our condolences. Unfortunately, we all go through this stage where we wonder if we did the right thing, and if we could have done something else. It’s normal But the questions your sisting is looking to answer are never going to be answered, because nothing is ever set in stone, and we don’t have a crystal ball that can see into the past, or into the future. So we gently offer you and your sister this advice: when you start wondering about what did or didn’t happen, remind yourself that those are thoughts that signal you are in mourning. Then, treat yourself that way. Be gentle with yourself, and feel the pain.

      Over the years, our readers have found that talking to a pastor, a counselor, or joining an online support group, at this time may be helpful. So if that is something that you both might interested in, it may be worth trying

      Please accept our condolences, and from all of us here, warm wishes x

  7. Danielle on April 9, 2020 at 9:01 am

    I lost my dog of 13 years, Muffin 2 days ago and I still don’t know how to make it through my day without her. I guess I’m going through the normal grieving process. I feel okay for a few minutes, but then I feel overcome by emotion. I see her face in my mind and then I feel mostly guilt. Guilt over anything and everything I did wrong, could have done better, all the attention I should have paid that maybe I didn’t.

    We still are unsure what happened and I opted not to have an autopsy because the thought of her being cut on just killed me inside. We brought her home and buried her on our hand beneath a beautiful tree. She loved being outside. About 3 weeks ago, we noticed that she was scooting a ton and licking her booty and took her to the vet. She had an anal gland infection so they cleaned her out and started her on antibiotics and an anti-inflammatory. I thought we were out of the woods and then she began obsessively licking again so I took her back in there and was told the other side was really inflamed and infected so we started antibiotics again and this time a small dose of Prednisone. That was last Friday. Early Sunday morning she began shaking and just obviously feeling awful. Trying to constantly poop and nothing happening so I assumed she was now constipated and painful in her belly. She would drink, but stopped eating. I took her into the vet first thing Monday morning and blood work was done with an x-ray. I was told her white blood cell count was elevated, she had a high fever and super tender belly. They put her on an antibiotic, antacid (or something along those lines) and by 7pm the fever was gone, but she was still sore. I was told should be able to come home the next day. Tuesday morning, I got the call I didn’t expect. She looked perkier when the vet got there and happy to see her and then, she had a seizure, went into cardiac arrest and passed and she was unable to get her back.

    Needless to say, I am just heartbroken and really still in shock. I am not racking my brain trying to figure out if and what I did wrong. Could the Prednisone cause this?! Should I just have given her the antibiotic? Should I have left it all alone? I thought I was helping her and doing the best thing for her and now she’s gone. Part of me wishes I would have had the autopsy done because now I wonder what happened and the other part of me thinks had I had it done and she had found cancer, I would have blamed myself for not finding it sooner or maybe think I didn’t pay attention to her paid. My dog was so sweet and so stoic and never wanted you to know she was hurt. We called her “Hank the Tank” and I always thought she would make it through anything.

    Anyway, I just wanted to say thank you for the article. I needed to reach so much of what I did. My girl was 13 and I thought I would have had her for another 3 years at least. I don’t think I ever would have been ready for her to go though…

    • Molly Jacobson on April 9, 2020 at 10:28 am

      Oh, Danielle, I’m so sorry to hear this. You are certainly feeling all the normal feelings and asking totally normal questions. I can’t answer them for you, and you may never know for sure what “actually happened.” But after a while, if you still are asking these questions, you might want to ask the vet if they have any insight. But honestly, I don’t think there is anything you could have done differently. It sounds like she just tanked. And even if you “knew” the answer to your question, you would still blame yourself. The key is to step out of those questions, or something. Let them be unanswered, as another mystery of life. I’m not saying this well, but I wrote another article about this very topic that might be helpful: https://www.dogcancerblog.com/articles/grief-loss/anything-else-done/

      My warm thoughts are with you in your loss. Take good care of yourself, because you’re still in shock and trauma. Lots of love from Maui,
      Molly

      • Danielle on April 9, 2020 at 11:24 am

        Molly,

        Thank you so much for the quick reply. You really have helped this grieving mama’s heart. I have a 4 and almost 6 year old and of course dogs aren’t the same as children, but Muffin was my first baby and she knew it.

        I am going to try and stop beating myself up so much and cannot tell you how much I appreciate the link to your other article. That helped tremendously. I think I will grieve and hold out until things aren’t so raw and speak with the vet so I can get a little more clarity. When she called me, I was too busy trying to listen to what she was saying through my own tears and pain, but after speaking with my husband, she told him that at her age, she thought most likely there was a cancer underlying and it’s why everything spiraled out of control so rapidly when we thought things would be alright.

        Owning a pet is so special, but I think sometimes we forget this part of the journey when we get them as puppies and man oh man is this part hard.

        Many Thanks all the way from Texas for doing what you do <3.

        • Molly Jacobson on April 9, 2020 at 12:59 pm

          <3 glad to be of what little service I can at this hard time. Dogs really do hide their illnesses well, so I’m glad that you are going to ease up a bit on yourself. You absolutely did the best you could, and your vet will be happy to help you understand any technical things later, when you’re ready. It’s really shocking when our dogs go suddenly, isn’t it? How can they get so sick, so quickly? It’s terrible. Blessings.

  8. Sharon gaboff on April 6, 2020 at 12:15 pm

    Thank you for writing this so I can remind myself of what is to come. Last week my beloved dog, Rescue, passed away with the help of our vet. She was in our home. I worried more about Argos, her canine friend to the end. He would clean her and rarely leave her side. Rescue had been unable to walk for the past 8 months. She would wag her tail and smile as we would pull her blanket to get her to the front door and lift all 70 pounds to assist her to go outside. Argos would often bark at me as if to say he was excited about the whole process.
    As a special treat, I began taking Argos on more long walks through the trails. This is something he loves to do as everyone comments on his beauty. All 220 pounds of it. I would always tell him that he is a looker! He started laying around more and then started limping. Yesterday I noticed swelling on his joint on his front leg. Today he was diagnosed with bone cancer. I needed to reassure myself that I will have to be going through this heartbreak so soon after Rescue. I will again, keep in the needs of my Argos first. Thank you

    • Molly Jacobson on April 6, 2020 at 2:09 pm

      Oh, Sharon. That’s a heartbreaker of a diagnosis, especially so soon after your Rescue passed. It sounds like both Rescue and Argos know how much you love them and care for them, and I know that is critical to their well-being. My personal opinion is that means more than anything else, to most dogs. Their super-power is friendliness, and when we show them love and care and attention, they know how to receive it better than any human I’ve ever met. My thoughts are with you and your loved ones. Many blessings to you all.

  9. Tracy Madrid on April 3, 2020 at 12:10 pm

    Thank you so much for this article. We just found out March 31, 2020, our 10 year old rottweiller has bone cancer. He has already been limping for about three months and the xray confirmed it this week. We just want to make him comfortable as he is already an outlier in his life expectancy for his breed. He is our fourth rottie and has outlived the longest by about 4 years. We love him so much and we are giving pain meds to keep him as comfortable as we can but don’t want him to suffer more than he needs to…just not ready to let him go quite yet. Your article finally gave me some great advice and peace about what we are doing. Thank you so much for your kind words. I am praying for God to make me ready when the time comes…and he is giving us the time we need to be ready!!!

    Madrid Family

  10. Nancy on March 28, 2020 at 9:42 am

    Hi.molly my name is Nancy I lost my dog a year and half ago is a Maltese his name is Ari is my first hog is so cute and lovely he has liver cancer late stage but even the medicine is not save him when he dies is so hard and i am still grief for him is very hard to forget him

    • Dog Cancer Vet Team on March 30, 2020 at 11:00 am

      Hi Nancy,

      Thanks for writing and we’re so sorry to hear about Ari. Losing a beloved pet can be extremely painful. Allow yourself to gradually find moments of happiness again, to embrace life again, because THAT’S what Ari would want. He would want you to be happy.

      So, as you start to recover a sense of happiness, or even just OK-ness, allow that to be true, too. It’s normal to feel injured after a loss, and it’s also normal to heal. There is nothing wrong with you feeling happy, sad, angry, loving, hurt, confused — all of this is normal.

      And if you need to, there’s absolutely nothing wrong with seeking help. You may find talking to a pastor or a counselor to be helpful. But feel what you need to feel because grief can’t be overcome, it can only be moved through. You will always, always miss your boy — but eventually, especially if you allow yourself to grieve naturally now, you will find that there will be less pain when you remember. Eventually, your memories will bring you mostly happiness at having been able to love such a creature, not sadness at having lost.

      Please accept our most heartfelt condolences <3 Sending you the warmest of wishes!

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